(I’m feeling low while writing this, so please excuse the melodrama)
12:30 at Phoenix Airport
Just finished saying good-bye to my family. That was the hardest thing I’ve had to do so far. Did the sad good-bye with my husband at the airport. Don’t EVER want to have to feel that way again. Why did I decide to do this again? I can’t seem to remember. The past 24 hours have been TERRIBLE. Everything makes me cry. At this point, I don’t know if I can do this. It was all just an idea until the bags started getting packed. Then it “hit the fan.” Yuck.
I have 20 hours of traveling to pull it together so I thought writing would be the best way to deal with all this pain I’m feeling.
As I sit here, on the floor, of good ol’ Sky Harbor, I am reflecting on this summer and how wonderful it’s been. Usually my summers consist of catching up on chores, watching unnecessary bad reality t.v., then prepping for school. Often leaving little time to really connect with the people around me. However THIS summer was different. There was no more putting people off, saying things like “oh, we should do that SOME TIME,” or things left unsaid. THIS summer was seeing a lot of the people closest and dear to me. My husband and I went on dates and went to those places we always wanted to try out. If I wanted to tell someone I loved them, I did. There was an entire “life is too short” mentality this summer, and THERE is the beauty.
Shouldn’t we always do this?
How often do we?
How many times are people suddenly taken away from us without warning and we regret our last moments with them?
Now, here is where I feel blessed. I know I’m not the only person in the world that has had a painful goodbye. However, mine is temporary. In about 125 days, (yes, I counted) I will be home for a couple of weeks before going back to the UAE.
I can’t imagine having to say goodbye to someone knowing it IS the last time you will ever see them. It hurts too much to even fathom, yet I’m sure those people also lived their lives with every moment really counting with that person.
As I stated in my first post- I was going to write the good, the bad and the ugly. Therefore I’m calling today “ugly.” Not just because I look like crap after crying all my makeup off which only enhances the large red bags under my eyes, but because of how ugly this day feels. I want it to be over so I can get to Stage 1. (see previous post)
I guess for now, this goes down as one of my lows on this trip.
To my friends and family- I love each and every one of you and look forward to seeing you again SOON!
Time to board…..