Airports….either the happiest place to be, or the most depressing. I think of where I was at mentally just over two weeks ago. Sitting in several airports on too many layovers after too many hours of flying, but so excited to go home. Now I sit here waiting to start the long flight back to the sandbox. (By the way….I suppose there is something quite poetic about flying on New Year’s Eve- but at the moment, I wonder what I was thinking in booking this flight?!) I reread the blog I wrote the first time I was at this airport getting ready to go to Abu Dhabi for the first time. There was so much pain when I wrote that. You would think after doing this several times, it would get easier to leave. Instead, it seems to get more difficult. There was a point this morning, just after getting my boarding pass and saying my sad good-bye to my husband that I thought, “what if I don’t get on this plane?” In fact, I am still sitting here at my gate wondering if it’s too late to run far away from this airport and back to our home. This airport, that held such excitement just a mere two weeks ago, now just feels cold and quiet.
I know I’m whining, and I know there is a silver lining in all of this. But it wouldn’t be very authentic if I only wrote about the shiny happy times in this blog. It wouldn’t be fair to omit the challenges that come with this journey. Anyone reading this that is considering working abroad needs to know that it is NOT EASY. Anyone reading this that is going through the same thing needs to know that they are not alone.
Now to not be a complete Debbie Downer on New Year’s Eve……
When I next land, it will be a new year. 2014. The year that I come home for good. Also, I am very blessed to feel so heartbroken at separation after 18 years of marriage. This says something! Finally, I have received such positive feedback from so many of you. So many kind words. You have no idea how much they fuel me through times like this. These things are what get me back on the plane. These things are what keep me “sane.” These things get me through the sad airport trips.
Thank you for listening to my rants. Have a wonderful New Year!